Feelin' alright

It keeps getting longer and longer between the times that I blog.  I guess it means I'm keeping busy which means the time will go faster between now and going home!

UPDATE:  I've been doing pretty good lately.  Took a chemistry exam last night and feel alright about it.  I have a football game to work this weekend and I'm planning to go to this really cool church in Moore on Sunday.  I was talking to a friend who has gone to this church and she said it's this church that started the app YouVersion, so that's pretty awesome!  I've got a math exam next week which I'm feeling pretty good about also.  And then there's only another full week before I get to go home for Thanksgiving!!  I'm super excited to just be home for a period of time in which I can relax and talk with friends rather than being super busy from the moment I'm home to the moment I leave again.  I just can't wait for meaningful conversation and maybe some ambulance calls along the way! :)

So since my time here in Oklahoma is winding down and it's only a very short time until I'll be moving to the University of Iowa, I decided it was time to tell people who are close to me about this change.  Rachael is sad but understands, the other girl from Iowa that I know, Holly, was saddened but said she completely understands as well, my friend Eric said he understood and even said he was contemplating moving back to Texas because he doesn't really feel right here either.  That was a nice conversation to have.

Then came this girl named Kelsey.  I don't really know her that well but yesterday morning we decided to go to breakfast with the other PCS (scholars group) people and then chatted for a little while.  She wanted to walk with me to my class and then asked about studying later which was a little strange.  Anyway, I told her about my leaving and I got a reaction that I was not expecting!  She first looked really sad and walked away.  When I went to say something to her later she said, "People always do this to me.  They come into my life and then leave with even caring.  I can't be friends with you or talk to you anymore."  .........*silence*..........  What in the hell just happened?  I didn't think we had become good friends in that time.  The people I cared about more were very supportive in my decision but she was completely pissed off by it.  To each its own though.

One last thing I want to talk about was another street preacher that came to campus a few days ago.  I saw this guys and his wife setting up their stuff when I was walking to class and wanted to hear what they were saying so after class I stood there and listened for a while.  This guy was calling everyone on the campus marijuana smokers, porn addicts, and even said that a group of guys standing next to each other were homosexual because they were simply standing next to each other.  They claimed that they have absolutely no sin in their lives as of however many years ago and are "perfect".  After listening for a while, I decided to go talk to the wife of this guy who was standing near him holding a Bible.  I ended up having a very interesting, hour long conversation with her, all while a group of students were behind me yelling and screaming at her husband the entire time.  Her reasoning behind her beliefs just didn't really add up to me.  She was telling me that the bible gives them the right to judge righteous acts and then later that the Jesus wasn't the only perfect person in the bible, that Job was also considered perfect.  Nothing she was saying really made any sense to me but it was a really good conversation otherwise.  When I had to leave I thanked her for standing there and talking with me and she said, "God Bless you" and then I was on my way.  I feel that her intentions were pure but her way of going about expressing those intentions were very wrong.

Wow this is a long post!  Have a good day everyone and God Bless!

Great Advice

Things have been so busy lately that I've kind of been slacking on reading my devotional.  I looked back to Friday the 24th and found a very interesting reading.  It was as follows:

"In any major decision we make concerning college, marriage, career, children, etc., it is not a sign of weakness to ask for advice.  Instead, it is foolish not to ask for it.  Find good advisers before making any big decision.  They can help you expand your alternative and evaluate your choices."

What a great thing to keep in mind!  And of course that reading was on the day that I was coming home and hoping to meet with a great "adviser" to talk about my future plans with.  I was saddened that this wouldn't happen but, as God has it, that "adviser" was at the football game that I went to and, through talking with him, I ended up becoming happy with the choice I am making for the future.

God has such a great was of making things happen in unusual ways.  AND I LOVE IT!!

Annoyed...Not Angry...Annoyed.

You know the first few weeks that I was at this campus, I thought that my roommate was a pretty cool  dude and we would get along great.  I guess they're right that after two months, problems start to surface.

I started to get mad at myself a few weeks ago because I didn't seem to have the "cojones" to tell my roommate that I didn't want him borrowing my car.  I was originally okay with it when he had to go somewhere to get a new phone and whatnot because I can understand that, as my phone was acting up at the time as well.  Then one night he asked to take my car down the road to 7-11 to get cigarettes with a friend whom I had met and decided was a pretty cool guy.  I agreed he could do so but I realized that it took him a long time to come back to the room.  And wouldn't you know it, the truth slipped up a few nights later while eating supper with a few of his friends who I had not met before.  They were talking along and one mentioned something funny that had happened, "that one night in the car."  I laughed and then looked at Jack and he gave me a very disconcerning look, and then started to laugh after I didn't show any emotion about it; probably assuming that I didn't catch the mistake his friend made.  But it did, yet didn't do anything about it because I thought maybe it was a one time thing.

Then it comes to this past Saturday night/Sunday morning when Jack comes back to the room totally and completely smashed.  Like that, "I can't believe you're not dead" stage of drinking.  Not even kidding... I paused many times through the night after he stopped making noise to make sure that he was still breathing.  He threw up at least 9 or 10 times within a few hours window.  I knew there was no way I was doing anything to clean up after him because it's time for him to be a big boy.  Now, he had thrown a pillow on the ground and laid on the floor for a while in the midst of the vomiting.  Tonight, Monday night, that pillow is STILL ON THE FLOOR!!!  Along with random clothes thrown everywhere and his belt that he had on THAT NIGHT!!  I'm not trying to be an a&#hole but when I don't have room to walk and have to step over your s*$t, that's pushing my limits!

Fast-forward to last night and I really start to get annoyed.  I was working on some homework at my desk and Jack had just got into bed.  He was in bed for like 5 minutes and then he starts to get up and put clothes on.  I had a feeling about what was going to come next but I really hoped he wouldn't ask..... "Austin. Can I borrow your car for just a minute?"  GRRRRRRRRRR!!!  ".....Yes....." *My voice in my head* "YOU DUMBASS!!!!!!!"  Why did I let him borrow my car at MIDNIGHT!  I decided to look at the time he left and then see when he came back.  Now I was asleep when he came back but I woke up at 1:42 AM and looked over and he wasn't in bed.  That means that for at least an hour and forty-two minutes, he had the keys to my car and opportunity to take and do whatever he wanted to with it.  AM I AN IDIOT OR WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

And now for the instigation factor that is leading me to blog right now... Jack had left the room a while ago and I decided to watch a movie in my bed.  I'm sitting here just chillin' and Jack comes back with two of his friends.  I was somewhat annoyed but I just figured they'd be back for a few minutes and then leave again.  No.  Jack pulls a Wii out of his bag and hooks it up to MY TV!!  Now listen all blog readers..  I'm really not saying this stuff out of spite or because it's mine and I don't feel like sharing, though it seems to be coming out like that.  My room is a place where I can go to isolate myself from everything and either watch a movie or do my homework.  I understand that the room is only half mine and half his, but I'm not bringing people over to the room any being loud and annoying.  I want to respect my roommate's ability to be comfortable in his room and hangout but I think this is pushing the limits.

So the moral of this blog is nothing but absolute negativity and I don't even feel good about blogging about this stupid topic but it's making me feel better so; whatever.

Goodbye.

*UPDATE 12:19AM*

My roommate and his two friends are STILL here and wanted to go to Wal-Mart for some stupid reason and wanted to take my car to which I said no.  After some persuasion by him..... I still said no.  He kept offering to put gas in my car for me but I said no again.  Then they wanted to go to 7-11 which isn't that far away and they were like, "How are we going to get there?"  Uhhh. YOUR TWO FEET!!  God didn't just laugh and decide to give you two long appendages growning out of your torso for no reason! (Don't take that the wrong way peoples!)  Walk your happy a*$ there if you're so needy to go somewhere!  ANNOYED!!

Great Day!

Today was just a fantastic day!!! I woke up this morning feeling completely refreshed and like I was a new person after feeling very bitter and somewhat angry over the last few days.

I went to my only class of the day and after it was over as I walked out into the bright sunshine, an overwhelming warmth filled my body. Probably the beautiful weather but I still found it neat! :)

The weather here was completely amazing today.  A high of 87 degrees with hardly a cloud in the sky and a nice wind to go along.  I was in my room for a while with my roommate and I just couldn't stand sitting inside any longer so I went to a place on campus where they have this patio thingy that is slightly shaded and has some tables you can sit at.  I studied for my math test that took place this evening and just found it to be so peaceful and nice.

As day turned into night, I began to prepare for my math test.  I really wasn't worried because I had studied a lot and felt very good going into it.  I just walked back from the test a few minutes ago and I can honestly say I've never felt better about a test.  Even with all of my tests I took in high school, this one I'm so confident about! I would even go as far as to say that I aced it! I'm so happy right now!! :) (If you see a depressed blog early next week, that means I probably got a B on the test.)

Exactly a week from right now I'll probably be about 35,000 feet over Kansas or Missouri on my way home in a metal tube flying through thin air at 500 miles per hour, where I'm HOPING nobody secretly has ebola!!! This ebola talk is EVERYWHERE! Rightfully so. This thing could easily wipe the face off of this planet if people aren't more careful.

Anywho... Just thought I'd update everyone on the fantastic day I had here. Sadly it's one of the few but I'm so looking forward to the many happy days I'll be having after December. I can't wait!!

Bitter.

I've just been feeling really bitter the past couple of days.  I walk to class hating the way things are going.  I hate doing this and that.  I've just been very bitter lately.  But... yesterday and today actually went alright because of have Rachael to hang with and talk to about my bitterness.  And guess what?!   She's super bitter too!!  Not necessarily a good thing but she showed me how I've been acting through her actions and made me calm down a little bit.

Until this morning when I find out that my cell phone died in the middle of the night so obviously my alarm didn't go off.  I ended up being ten minutes late to my chemistry lab.  Now, usually this is no big deal because our TA has been late to every single class we've had this entire semester, so I could afford to be a few minutes behind.  Apparently she was on time today and kept asking Rachael if I was coming and if I was more that 15 minutes late I wouldn't be able to do that lab.  Well obviously that is false because 

There's no point in me continuing this story.  Here goes my bitterness again!!  I've found that I'm becoming very rude in college.  Since I don't have to see these people again, I just blow everyone off like their a piece of trash on the curb. (Ok. That's an exaggeration but you get what I'm saying.) I'm noticing I've changed and I'm not liking it.  Yes, I know I'm the person who can reverse that change but it's sometimes nice not having to be the bigger person.

My mini rant is that I hate the word "studying."  I hate it when people say they are going to "study" when they're really just doing homework.  My roommate is a perfect examply.  He keeps saying he's going to study a lot this weekend but he has no test anytime soon.  Studying is when you are preparing for a test; homework is everything else.  End rant.

Comfortable.

I haven't blogged in so long that I have so much to say and I can't even begin to understand how to start it all!

First off... It was a GREAT decision to go home this past weekend.  I had debated back and forth whether it was a good idea and looking back, I'm glad I did it.  It was so nice to see all of my friends and family and bring back some familiarity in my life.  Of course, it didn't help having the entire fire department including the chief tell me that they missed having me around town and wished I were back.  It definitely made it that much harder to come back to Oklahoma.  All in all though, I definitely felt very comfortable back home with all the people I know and love. 

Last night I was in my doom room with my roommate and his friend Chris and Chris and I had a really nice, heart to heart conversation.  And by heart to heart, I'm meaning we talked about everything from the good and bad of marijuana, lowering the drinking age, religion, and everything in between!  Don't get me wrong; I'm not 100% for lowering the drinking age and DEFINITELY not for marijuana, but he made his good points and I had my good points.  And it made me feel really comfortable to have this nice conversation with Chris.  It made me realize that I maybe haven't changed so much since starting college.  

Earlier today I was looking through my emails, which seem to pile up all of the time, and I see one from the admissions office at the University of Iowa.  I got accepted!!  While back home, it was difficult to tell people the reasons as to why I'm deciding to move back to Iowa after this semester.  It was even more difficult when people wanted to say that I'm not, "sticking it out."  That phrase honestly makes me feel like a complete failure.  I just wish people could get it through their heads that I'M NOT GIVING UP!!!!  Some people think 2 months at an instituion is a good amount of time and others think it's not.  Guess what?  I don't really care what you think.  I know, for myself, that Oklahoma isn't a good place for me to be at this point in my life.  I know that it's not a fit for me here and I'm going to change that.  You can try to "talk me down" all you want but ultimatly it's my decision and I'm going to be the one suffering the consequences; good or bad.  No matter what my decision, I'm going to do what I want and what is comfortable for me. 

You know, I find it funny that I hadn't even been in Iowa for a couple of hours and I was already volunteering for my community.  I miss my hometown so much that it hurts me everytime something happens around town and I can't be a part of it.  When I've been so involved with so many organizations, I just want to be there filling the void that I left behind.  And one of the reasons I gave people for my wanting to move back to Iowa is that I have so many ties back to our community that I'm not ready to give up yet.  Not just my volunteer activities, but my family, my friends, our farm.  All of those things are important to me and I don't think one should just give everything up at the flick of a switch because of their movement to college.  Those are the activities and people that make me comfortable, and I don't want to give that up.

As you can tell, the moral of my blog is all about being comfortable.  I want to be comfortable with the things I am doing and that's not been happening here.  And the answer to the problem is easy; change something.  Become...you guessed it...comfortable. 

Time Limits

As another blogger friend of mine was talking about his issues with his math class, I find it ironic that I'm complaining about my class today too!

We usually take a quiz every week in my trig class and so I knew it was coming today and was, in my mind, pretty well prepared for it.  Our TA always gives us 10 minutes and there's always 5 problems on the quizzes.  Recently we've been covering topics that have problems and equations that sometimes take a while to solve.  On my quiz today I only got 3 of the 5 problems done because of the stupid time limit!  Luckliy I wasn't alone because almost all of the class didn't finish.

AND THEN!!..... This TA had the audacity to tell us, the class, that we were unprepared for the quiz and need to spend more time studying.  EXCUSE ME!!!???  I knew how to do every problem on that quiz but because of your stupid time limit, I couldn't finish!  I hate it when people make assumptions based on random knowledge.  It's like calling individuals horribly mean names when you don't know anything about that person.  NOBODY SHOULD JUDGE ONE ANOTHER!!!!!

Other than that little escapade, today has gone pretty good. :)