Comfortable.

I haven't blogged in so long that I have so much to say and I can't even begin to understand how to start it all!

First off... It was a GREAT decision to go home this past weekend.  I had debated back and forth whether it was a good idea and looking back, I'm glad I did it.  It was so nice to see all of my friends and family and bring back some familiarity in my life.  Of course, it didn't help having the entire fire department including the chief tell me that they missed having me around town and wished I were back.  It definitely made it that much harder to come back to Oklahoma.  All in all though, I definitely felt very comfortable back home with all the people I know and love. 

Last night I was in my doom room with my roommate and his friend Chris and Chris and I had a really nice, heart to heart conversation.  And by heart to heart, I'm meaning we talked about everything from the good and bad of marijuana, lowering the drinking age, religion, and everything in between!  Don't get me wrong; I'm not 100% for lowering the drinking age and DEFINITELY not for marijuana, but he made his good points and I had my good points.  And it made me feel really comfortable to have this nice conversation with Chris.  It made me realize that I maybe haven't changed so much since starting college.  

Earlier today I was looking through my emails, which seem to pile up all of the time, and I see one from the admissions office at the University of Iowa.  I got accepted!!  While back home, it was difficult to tell people the reasons as to why I'm deciding to move back to Iowa after this semester.  It was even more difficult when people wanted to say that I'm not, "sticking it out."  That phrase honestly makes me feel like a complete failure.  I just wish people could get it through their heads that I'M NOT GIVING UP!!!!  Some people think 2 months at an instituion is a good amount of time and others think it's not.  Guess what?  I don't really care what you think.  I know, for myself, that Oklahoma isn't a good place for me to be at this point in my life.  I know that it's not a fit for me here and I'm going to change that.  You can try to "talk me down" all you want but ultimatly it's my decision and I'm going to be the one suffering the consequences; good or bad.  No matter what my decision, I'm going to do what I want and what is comfortable for me. 

You know, I find it funny that I hadn't even been in Iowa for a couple of hours and I was already volunteering for my community.  I miss my hometown so much that it hurts me everytime something happens around town and I can't be a part of it.  When I've been so involved with so many organizations, I just want to be there filling the void that I left behind.  And one of the reasons I gave people for my wanting to move back to Iowa is that I have so many ties back to our community that I'm not ready to give up yet.  Not just my volunteer activities, but my family, my friends, our farm.  All of those things are important to me and I don't think one should just give everything up at the flick of a switch because of their movement to college.  Those are the activities and people that make me comfortable, and I don't want to give that up.

As you can tell, the moral of my blog is all about being comfortable.  I want to be comfortable with the things I am doing and that's not been happening here.  And the answer to the problem is easy; change something.  Become...you guessed it...comfortable.