A Whole Entire Year

It's unbelievable.  I can't believe this.........  A year ago today my life changed completely.  Not necessarily on the outside, but inside of me.  September 16, 2013 will always be a special day in my heart.  Let me take you through that day......

It was a completely normal day.  I went to school like any other normal day of the week.  It was about a month into my senior year of high school and things were going pretty good.  I didn't have too many cares in the world and I was okay with that.  I had just gotten back from a weekend mission trip with some lady whom I had just met.  She seemed a little crazy and I can't believe she would ask about my relationship with Jesus.  I would kind of brush it off and not really think about it.  I'm not good enough for God.  I have so many faults and screw-ups in my life there's no way he could love ME.  

My very best friend and I had to go somewhere on the Monday following my getting back from the trip and then we drove around our small little town doing who knows what.  We get back to the high school parking lot and sit there and talk.  We always talk about everything in the book so I didn't really expect anything special out of that night.  Even though that particular night we were talking about God and salvation, it didn't really phase me.  We had talked about it before and nothing had happened so...whatever.  

She tells me over and over again, "no matter what, God loves you.  He loves you through your best and worst times and just wants you to follow Him through life."  I then started feeling a bunch of anxiety in my chest.  I felt like I was having trouble breathing.  What is going on?  She and I kept talking and I started to realize some things.  All Jesus wants is to love me, and for me to love Him.  I am a sinner.  I have faults.  I do wrong lots of times.  Jesus, you still love me through all of that and want me to follow you and join you in heaven when my life ends on this earth.  God, please allow me to follow you and apologize for my sins.  Your love is so great and I just want to love you!

And that's when the flood gates broke open!  My friend and I prayed and I instantly burst into tears.  A wave of something I can't even describe came crashing over me.  I felt super nervous but also an area of peace was in my heart.  God, came into my heart and my life and allowed me to walk with him.  I couldn't even describe the feeling, and still can't to this day!

We decided to call the crazy mission trip lady and tell her the wonderful news.  Though I couldn't even make the phone call because I was such a mess, we called and then went to her house where she opened the door and instantly embraced me in one of the most emotional hugs I've ever felt in my life.  This is such a surreal feeling that I now don't know if I made the right decision! 

One year ago today I had one of the best days in my life.  I definitely wouldn't have changed that day one bit.  For about a month I honestly thought I had made the wrong decision.  I thought, "Well now that the emotional part is over, nothing really changed, I don't feel any different."  I now realize that I was unsure because I wasn't thinking about things with God in mind.  I was only seeing the world through MY eyes, not God's.

Now, it's not to say my life since that day hasn't been super crazy, hectic, and/or ridiculously busy, but I can now be confident with where I stand in my faith walk and where I'm going in life.  I can pray about things I'm struggling with and I know that God will be there to listen to me.  I have SO much confidence in my faith that I just want to spread Jesus' word to everyone!!  I don't care if you're already a Christian or you're an athiest that wants to yell in my face about how much the Chrisitan faith is a bunch of crap, I still want everyone to believe.  I want to see all of my friends in heaven.  If I could ask one thing, it's for people to listen to what Christianity ACTUALLY is, not what the sterotypes are.  Loving God isn't about the rules of Christianity or the do's and don'ts.  It's simply about love.

I love God so much and I just hope that I don't turn people away with the things I'm saying.  I've gained so many wonderful friendships in the past year with my new outlook on life, but I've also ruined a couple.  I just had to open my big mouth when I should have kept it shut.  But I believe the conversations I've had over the past year with these people was meant for something, and I know I can't beat myself up trying to figure it out, so I hope I can have the faith that I need to let some friendships go, as much as it hurts.

(So much for being a simple blog post!)  All in all, it's been a wonderful past year with some amazing people and I can't wait for more years to come!  Praise Jesus and praise him for his salvation!

P.S.  That crazy lady turned out to be not so crazy after all!!! :)