The clock is down to less than ten days until I will be leaving the University of Oklahoma for the final time and returning to Iowa to continue on in life. Looking back to when I made this decision, I was in a world of hurt and desperately wanted things to change, so I changed them. And now as I will be leaving for good, I think about the things I'll be missing around here...
I'm going to miss this beautiful campus. I'm going to miss the sometimes crazy but mostly wonderful weather that is Oklahoma. I'm going to miss my few friends that I've made here at OU, some so recently as this week! I'm going to miss the wonderful church that I've been attending recently.
But as I look at this list I have made, I see sentimentaly aspects of what I'll be missing. I will always have the opportunity to visit Oklahoma again later on in life to fulfill some of the things I'll be missing when I leave.
As of now, it is time to look to the future. I did give Oklahoma a good run and though I like many things about it, it's just not for me. The longer I think about it, to more I'm really expecting myself to love and flourish at the University of Iowa. I DO think I will enjoy nursing. I DO want to stop being so dull in life like I have been here at OU. I'm ready to move on from the hurting I've experienced down here and be closer to home and in a place that I actually enjoy being.
Meanwhile, I've had some very good luck and fortune in my final two weeks down here! I'm very excited to have the opportunity to see Craig Groeschel give not one but TWO live sermons tomorrow. I'm also excited that for the rest of the days this week, I only have one class each day; two of those days not having the class until 2:30 in the afternoon! I've only got two finals to prepare for and then a paper to write for political science, so I feel that I will be able to finish out this semester strong.
As far as preparations for transferring to Iowa goes, everything is applied for and filled out. Transcripts are sent. Orientation date is set. EMT job with Johnson County EMS has been applied for. And I'm actually excited to make this step in my life. I'm happy to be going to Iowa and doing something that I love to do!
Oh... and there's that letter I'm needing to write to my parents that I've been putting off.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Venting where I shouldn't be.
A good friend of mine just blogged yesterday about her misuse of her blog for venting instead of healing. As I get back to my room today, all I want is to vent this dumb thing that just happened to me, even though I realize I really shouldn't. So instead, I'm going to rant about the qualities regarding this situation and what I don't like about them.
You may always get asked what your biggest pet peeves are and sometimes, if you're me, you never remember them! I've started a list on my phone to remember the bigger ones and it's coming along well. So, if I may, here's my list with descriptions:
1. Slow walkers. If I've learned anything from college it's that slow walkers drive me nuts!! Everytime I walk, I am going somewhere. I walk with purpose. I have a reason behind my walking. And I also walk kind of fast which makes the averaged speed walkers seem even slower to me.
2. Passive-aggressiveness. I'm a person that wants to know exactly what's wrong with someone or a situation. Don't beat around the bush with stuff. Yeah, sometimes I might get upset about what's going on but I'd be more upset if you are passive-aggressive and aren't communicating.
3. "The Silent Treatment." Somewhat going along with number 2, the silent treaetment completely ticks me off. "How are you today?" "Fine." "Well is everything ok?" *hmmm* I HATE THE SILENT TREATMENT!!! Tell me how it is!! Do you hate me?! TELL ME!!! *calm down boy....*
The last two points are things I had to deal with today and I'm not happy about it. Whatever though... you gain some you lose some. I'm leaving anyway so what does it matter?
T-5 days, 20 hours, 19 minutes, and 23 seconds until I leave to come home. I'm getting more and more excited and more and more anxious. Home really is where the heart is.. Watch out Mahaska County 'cause AJW's coming to town!!
Peace all!
Monday, November 17, 2014
What a day!
Well what a day/few days it has been here in Norman!
First off, I had another awesome church service at LifeChurch in Moore! The worship there just makes me feel like I'm re-giving my life to Christ ever time I go. And then the snow started falling. It took many people by surprise because we got a lot more snow then they had originally forcast for the Norman and OKC area. Car accidents were happening left and right, people were getting injuried, and also a plethera of medical calls. All of it just made me more and more anxious to be back on the ambulance coming next week. Speaking of which, I got approval to help out over Thanksgiving and Christmas so that's a big plus!
I had some good conversation with friends last night and really had an enjoyable night! Then we got the text/call/email saying classes for the Norman campus were cancelled today which I wasn't going to complain about, but was pretty much unnecessary. A three day weekend is usually nice but right now I just want to go to class, which makes the days go by faster, which will make next Tuesday come even faster!! I suppose I just enjoy the rest of the days, do my school work, and make the most of it... (I sound like a self-help book!)
I just can't wait to be home with my friends and forget about the time and where I have to be in exactley 36 minutes. I can't wait to (hopefully) help out on ambulance. I can't wait to relax! I can't wait to drive! Yes that sounds weird but I just want to have an 9 hour period to myself where I can think, listen to music, and just destress.
T-7days, 21 hours, 34 minutes, and 16 seconds until I embark on my journey back to the big 'ol metropolis of New Sharon, IA!!!
Happy days peeps! :)
First off, I had another awesome church service at LifeChurch in Moore! The worship there just makes me feel like I'm re-giving my life to Christ ever time I go. And then the snow started falling. It took many people by surprise because we got a lot more snow then they had originally forcast for the Norman and OKC area. Car accidents were happening left and right, people were getting injuried, and also a plethera of medical calls. All of it just made me more and more anxious to be back on the ambulance coming next week. Speaking of which, I got approval to help out over Thanksgiving and Christmas so that's a big plus!
I had some good conversation with friends last night and really had an enjoyable night! Then we got the text/call/email saying classes for the Norman campus were cancelled today which I wasn't going to complain about, but was pretty much unnecessary. A three day weekend is usually nice but right now I just want to go to class, which makes the days go by faster, which will make next Tuesday come even faster!! I suppose I just enjoy the rest of the days, do my school work, and make the most of it... (I sound like a self-help book!)
I just can't wait to be home with my friends and forget about the time and where I have to be in exactley 36 minutes. I can't wait to (hopefully) help out on ambulance. I can't wait to relax! I can't wait to drive! Yes that sounds weird but I just want to have an 9 hour period to myself where I can think, listen to music, and just destress.
T-7days, 21 hours, 34 minutes, and 16 seconds until I embark on my journey back to the big 'ol metropolis of New Sharon, IA!!!
Happy days peeps! :)
Friday, November 7, 2014
Feelin' alright
It keeps getting longer and longer between the times that I blog. I guess it means I'm keeping busy which means the time will go faster between now and going home!
UPDATE: I've been doing pretty good lately. Took a chemistry exam last night and feel alright about it. I have a football game to work this weekend and I'm planning to go to this really cool church in Moore on Sunday. I was talking to a friend who has gone to this church and she said it's this church that started the app YouVersion, so that's pretty awesome! I've got a math exam next week which I'm feeling pretty good about also. And then there's only another full week before I get to go home for Thanksgiving!! I'm super excited to just be home for a period of time in which I can relax and talk with friends rather than being super busy from the moment I'm home to the moment I leave again. I just can't wait for meaningful conversation and maybe some ambulance calls along the way! :)
So since my time here in Oklahoma is winding down and it's only a very short time until I'll be moving to the University of Iowa, I decided it was time to tell people who are close to me about this change. Rachael is sad but understands, the other girl from Iowa that I know, Holly, was saddened but said she completely understands as well, my friend Eric said he understood and even said he was contemplating moving back to Texas because he doesn't really feel right here either. That was a nice conversation to have.
Then came this girl named Kelsey. I don't really know her that well but yesterday morning we decided to go to breakfast with the other PCS (scholars group) people and then chatted for a little while. She wanted to walk with me to my class and then asked about studying later which was a little strange. Anyway, I told her about my leaving and I got a reaction that I was not expecting! She first looked really sad and walked away. When I went to say something to her later she said, "People always do this to me. They come into my life and then leave with even caring. I can't be friends with you or talk to you anymore." .........*silence*.......... What in the hell just happened? I didn't think we had become good friends in that time. The people I cared about more were very supportive in my decision but she was completely pissed off by it. To each its own though.
One last thing I want to talk about was another street preacher that came to campus a few days ago. I saw this guys and his wife setting up their stuff when I was walking to class and wanted to hear what they were saying so after class I stood there and listened for a while. This guy was calling everyone on the campus marijuana smokers, porn addicts, and even said that a group of guys standing next to each other were homosexual because they were simply standing next to each other. They claimed that they have absolutely no sin in their lives as of however many years ago and are "perfect". After listening for a while, I decided to go talk to the wife of this guy who was standing near him holding a Bible. I ended up having a very interesting, hour long conversation with her, all while a group of students were behind me yelling and screaming at her husband the entire time. Her reasoning behind her beliefs just didn't really add up to me. She was telling me that the bible gives them the right to judge righteous acts and then later that the Jesus wasn't the only perfect person in the bible, that Job was also considered perfect. Nothing she was saying really made any sense to me but it was a really good conversation otherwise. When I had to leave I thanked her for standing there and talking with me and she said, "God Bless you" and then I was on my way. I feel that her intentions were pure but her way of going about expressing those intentions were very wrong.
Wow this is a long post! Have a good day everyone and God Bless!
UPDATE: I've been doing pretty good lately. Took a chemistry exam last night and feel alright about it. I have a football game to work this weekend and I'm planning to go to this really cool church in Moore on Sunday. I was talking to a friend who has gone to this church and she said it's this church that started the app YouVersion, so that's pretty awesome! I've got a math exam next week which I'm feeling pretty good about also. And then there's only another full week before I get to go home for Thanksgiving!! I'm super excited to just be home for a period of time in which I can relax and talk with friends rather than being super busy from the moment I'm home to the moment I leave again. I just can't wait for meaningful conversation and maybe some ambulance calls along the way! :)
So since my time here in Oklahoma is winding down and it's only a very short time until I'll be moving to the University of Iowa, I decided it was time to tell people who are close to me about this change. Rachael is sad but understands, the other girl from Iowa that I know, Holly, was saddened but said she completely understands as well, my friend Eric said he understood and even said he was contemplating moving back to Texas because he doesn't really feel right here either. That was a nice conversation to have.
Then came this girl named Kelsey. I don't really know her that well but yesterday morning we decided to go to breakfast with the other PCS (scholars group) people and then chatted for a little while. She wanted to walk with me to my class and then asked about studying later which was a little strange. Anyway, I told her about my leaving and I got a reaction that I was not expecting! She first looked really sad and walked away. When I went to say something to her later she said, "People always do this to me. They come into my life and then leave with even caring. I can't be friends with you or talk to you anymore." .........*silence*.......... What in the hell just happened? I didn't think we had become good friends in that time. The people I cared about more were very supportive in my decision but she was completely pissed off by it. To each its own though.
One last thing I want to talk about was another street preacher that came to campus a few days ago. I saw this guys and his wife setting up their stuff when I was walking to class and wanted to hear what they were saying so after class I stood there and listened for a while. This guy was calling everyone on the campus marijuana smokers, porn addicts, and even said that a group of guys standing next to each other were homosexual because they were simply standing next to each other. They claimed that they have absolutely no sin in their lives as of however many years ago and are "perfect". After listening for a while, I decided to go talk to the wife of this guy who was standing near him holding a Bible. I ended up having a very interesting, hour long conversation with her, all while a group of students were behind me yelling and screaming at her husband the entire time. Her reasoning behind her beliefs just didn't really add up to me. She was telling me that the bible gives them the right to judge righteous acts and then later that the Jesus wasn't the only perfect person in the bible, that Job was also considered perfect. Nothing she was saying really made any sense to me but it was a really good conversation otherwise. When I had to leave I thanked her for standing there and talking with me and she said, "God Bless you" and then I was on my way. I feel that her intentions were pure but her way of going about expressing those intentions were very wrong.
Wow this is a long post! Have a good day everyone and God Bless!
Monday, October 27, 2014
Great Advice
Things have been so busy lately that I've kind of been slacking on reading my devotional. I looked back to Friday the 24th and found a very interesting reading. It was as follows:
"In any major decision we make concerning college, marriage, career, children, etc., it is not a sign of weakness to ask for advice. Instead, it is foolish not to ask for it. Find good advisers before making any big decision. They can help you expand your alternative and evaluate your choices."
What a great thing to keep in mind! And of course that reading was on the day that I was coming home and hoping to meet with a great "adviser" to talk about my future plans with. I was saddened that this wouldn't happen but, as God has it, that "adviser" was at the football game that I went to and, through talking with him, I ended up becoming happy with the choice I am making for the future.
God has such a great was of making things happen in unusual ways. AND I LOVE IT!!
"In any major decision we make concerning college, marriage, career, children, etc., it is not a sign of weakness to ask for advice. Instead, it is foolish not to ask for it. Find good advisers before making any big decision. They can help you expand your alternative and evaluate your choices."
What a great thing to keep in mind! And of course that reading was on the day that I was coming home and hoping to meet with a great "adviser" to talk about my future plans with. I was saddened that this wouldn't happen but, as God has it, that "adviser" was at the football game that I went to and, through talking with him, I ended up becoming happy with the choice I am making for the future.
God has such a great was of making things happen in unusual ways. AND I LOVE IT!!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Annoyed...Not Angry...Annoyed.
You know the first few weeks that I was at this campus, I thought that my roommate was a pretty cool dude and we would get along great. I guess they're right that after two months, problems start to surface.
I started to get mad at myself a few weeks ago because I didn't seem to have the "cojones" to tell my roommate that I didn't want him borrowing my car. I was originally okay with it when he had to go somewhere to get a new phone and whatnot because I can understand that, as my phone was acting up at the time as well. Then one night he asked to take my car down the road to 7-11 to get cigarettes with a friend whom I had met and decided was a pretty cool guy. I agreed he could do so but I realized that it took him a long time to come back to the room. And wouldn't you know it, the truth slipped up a few nights later while eating supper with a few of his friends who I had not met before. They were talking along and one mentioned something funny that had happened, "that one night in the car." I laughed and then looked at Jack and he gave me a very disconcerning look, and then started to laugh after I didn't show any emotion about it; probably assuming that I didn't catch the mistake his friend made. But it did, yet didn't do anything about it because I thought maybe it was a one time thing.
Then it comes to this past Saturday night/Sunday morning when Jack comes back to the room totally and completely smashed. Like that, "I can't believe you're not dead" stage of drinking. Not even kidding... I paused many times through the night after he stopped making noise to make sure that he was still breathing. He threw up at least 9 or 10 times within a few hours window. I knew there was no way I was doing anything to clean up after him because it's time for him to be a big boy. Now, he had thrown a pillow on the ground and laid on the floor for a while in the midst of the vomiting. Tonight, Monday night, that pillow is STILL ON THE FLOOR!!! Along with random clothes thrown everywhere and his belt that he had on THAT NIGHT!! I'm not trying to be an a&#hole but when I don't have room to walk and have to step over your s*$t, that's pushing my limits!
Fast-forward to last night and I really start to get annoyed. I was working on some homework at my desk and Jack had just got into bed. He was in bed for like 5 minutes and then he starts to get up and put clothes on. I had a feeling about what was going to come next but I really hoped he wouldn't ask..... "Austin. Can I borrow your car for just a minute?" GRRRRRRRRRR!!! ".....Yes....." *My voice in my head* "YOU DUMBASS!!!!!!!" Why did I let him borrow my car at MIDNIGHT! I decided to look at the time he left and then see when he came back. Now I was asleep when he came back but I woke up at 1:42 AM and looked over and he wasn't in bed. That means that for at least an hour and forty-two minutes, he had the keys to my car and opportunity to take and do whatever he wanted to with it. AM I AN IDIOT OR WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
And now for the instigation factor that is leading me to blog right now... Jack had left the room a while ago and I decided to watch a movie in my bed. I'm sitting here just chillin' and Jack comes back with two of his friends. I was somewhat annoyed but I just figured they'd be back for a few minutes and then leave again. No. Jack pulls a Wii out of his bag and hooks it up to MY TV!! Now listen all blog readers.. I'm really not saying this stuff out of spite or because it's mine and I don't feel like sharing, though it seems to be coming out like that. My room is a place where I can go to isolate myself from everything and either watch a movie or do my homework. I understand that the room is only half mine and half his, but I'm not bringing people over to the room any being loud and annoying. I want to respect my roommate's ability to be comfortable in his room and hangout but I think this is pushing the limits.
So the moral of this blog is nothing but absolute negativity and I don't even feel good about blogging about this stupid topic but it's making me feel better so; whatever.
Goodbye.
*UPDATE 12:19AM*
My roommate and his two friends are STILL here and wanted to go to Wal-Mart for some stupid reason and wanted to take my car to which I said no. After some persuasion by him..... I still said no. He kept offering to put gas in my car for me but I said no again. Then they wanted to go to 7-11 which isn't that far away and they were like, "How are we going to get there?" Uhhh. YOUR TWO FEET!! God didn't just laugh and decide to give you two long appendages growning out of your torso for no reason! (Don't take that the wrong way peoples!) Walk your happy a*$ there if you're so needy to go somewhere! ANNOYED!!
I started to get mad at myself a few weeks ago because I didn't seem to have the "cojones" to tell my roommate that I didn't want him borrowing my car. I was originally okay with it when he had to go somewhere to get a new phone and whatnot because I can understand that, as my phone was acting up at the time as well. Then one night he asked to take my car down the road to 7-11 to get cigarettes with a friend whom I had met and decided was a pretty cool guy. I agreed he could do so but I realized that it took him a long time to come back to the room. And wouldn't you know it, the truth slipped up a few nights later while eating supper with a few of his friends who I had not met before. They were talking along and one mentioned something funny that had happened, "that one night in the car." I laughed and then looked at Jack and he gave me a very disconcerning look, and then started to laugh after I didn't show any emotion about it; probably assuming that I didn't catch the mistake his friend made. But it did, yet didn't do anything about it because I thought maybe it was a one time thing.
Then it comes to this past Saturday night/Sunday morning when Jack comes back to the room totally and completely smashed. Like that, "I can't believe you're not dead" stage of drinking. Not even kidding... I paused many times through the night after he stopped making noise to make sure that he was still breathing. He threw up at least 9 or 10 times within a few hours window. I knew there was no way I was doing anything to clean up after him because it's time for him to be a big boy. Now, he had thrown a pillow on the ground and laid on the floor for a while in the midst of the vomiting. Tonight, Monday night, that pillow is STILL ON THE FLOOR!!! Along with random clothes thrown everywhere and his belt that he had on THAT NIGHT!! I'm not trying to be an a&#hole but when I don't have room to walk and have to step over your s*$t, that's pushing my limits!
Fast-forward to last night and I really start to get annoyed. I was working on some homework at my desk and Jack had just got into bed. He was in bed for like 5 minutes and then he starts to get up and put clothes on. I had a feeling about what was going to come next but I really hoped he wouldn't ask..... "Austin. Can I borrow your car for just a minute?" GRRRRRRRRRR!!! ".....Yes....." *My voice in my head* "YOU DUMBASS!!!!!!!" Why did I let him borrow my car at MIDNIGHT! I decided to look at the time he left and then see when he came back. Now I was asleep when he came back but I woke up at 1:42 AM and looked over and he wasn't in bed. That means that for at least an hour and forty-two minutes, he had the keys to my car and opportunity to take and do whatever he wanted to with it. AM I AN IDIOT OR WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
And now for the instigation factor that is leading me to blog right now... Jack had left the room a while ago and I decided to watch a movie in my bed. I'm sitting here just chillin' and Jack comes back with two of his friends. I was somewhat annoyed but I just figured they'd be back for a few minutes and then leave again. No. Jack pulls a Wii out of his bag and hooks it up to MY TV!! Now listen all blog readers.. I'm really not saying this stuff out of spite or because it's mine and I don't feel like sharing, though it seems to be coming out like that. My room is a place where I can go to isolate myself from everything and either watch a movie or do my homework. I understand that the room is only half mine and half his, but I'm not bringing people over to the room any being loud and annoying. I want to respect my roommate's ability to be comfortable in his room and hangout but I think this is pushing the limits.
So the moral of this blog is nothing but absolute negativity and I don't even feel good about blogging about this stupid topic but it's making me feel better so; whatever.
Goodbye.
*UPDATE 12:19AM*
My roommate and his two friends are STILL here and wanted to go to Wal-Mart for some stupid reason and wanted to take my car to which I said no. After some persuasion by him..... I still said no. He kept offering to put gas in my car for me but I said no again. Then they wanted to go to 7-11 which isn't that far away and they were like, "How are we going to get there?" Uhhh. YOUR TWO FEET!! God didn't just laugh and decide to give you two long appendages growning out of your torso for no reason! (Don't take that the wrong way peoples!) Walk your happy a*$ there if you're so needy to go somewhere! ANNOYED!!
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Great Day!
Today was just a fantastic day!!! I woke up this morning feeling completely refreshed and like I was a new person after feeling very bitter and somewhat angry over the last few days.
I went to my only class of the day and after it was over as I walked out into the bright sunshine, an overwhelming warmth filled my body. Probably the beautiful weather but I still found it neat! :)
The weather here was completely amazing today. A high of 87 degrees with hardly a cloud in the sky and a nice wind to go along. I was in my room for a while with my roommate and I just couldn't stand sitting inside any longer so I went to a place on campus where they have this patio thingy that is slightly shaded and has some tables you can sit at. I studied for my math test that took place this evening and just found it to be so peaceful and nice.
As day turned into night, I began to prepare for my math test. I really wasn't worried because I had studied a lot and felt very good going into it. I just walked back from the test a few minutes ago and I can honestly say I've never felt better about a test. Even with all of my tests I took in high school, this one I'm so confident about! I would even go as far as to say that I aced it! I'm so happy right now!! :) (If you see a depressed blog early next week, that means I probably got a B on the test.)
Exactly a week from right now I'll probably be about 35,000 feet over Kansas or Missouri on my way home in a metal tube flying through thin air at 500 miles per hour, where I'm HOPING nobody secretly has ebola!!! This ebola talk is EVERYWHERE! Rightfully so. This thing could easily wipe the face off of this planet if people aren't more careful.
Anywho... Just thought I'd update everyone on the fantastic day I had here. Sadly it's one of the few but I'm so looking forward to the many happy days I'll be having after December. I can't wait!!
I went to my only class of the day and after it was over as I walked out into the bright sunshine, an overwhelming warmth filled my body. Probably the beautiful weather but I still found it neat! :)
The weather here was completely amazing today. A high of 87 degrees with hardly a cloud in the sky and a nice wind to go along. I was in my room for a while with my roommate and I just couldn't stand sitting inside any longer so I went to a place on campus where they have this patio thingy that is slightly shaded and has some tables you can sit at. I studied for my math test that took place this evening and just found it to be so peaceful and nice.
As day turned into night, I began to prepare for my math test. I really wasn't worried because I had studied a lot and felt very good going into it. I just walked back from the test a few minutes ago and I can honestly say I've never felt better about a test. Even with all of my tests I took in high school, this one I'm so confident about! I would even go as far as to say that I aced it! I'm so happy right now!! :) (If you see a depressed blog early next week, that means I probably got a B on the test.)
Exactly a week from right now I'll probably be about 35,000 feet over Kansas or Missouri on my way home in a metal tube flying through thin air at 500 miles per hour, where I'm HOPING nobody secretly has ebola!!! This ebola talk is EVERYWHERE! Rightfully so. This thing could easily wipe the face off of this planet if people aren't more careful.
Anywho... Just thought I'd update everyone on the fantastic day I had here. Sadly it's one of the few but I'm so looking forward to the many happy days I'll be having after December. I can't wait!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Bitter.
I've just been feeling really bitter the past couple of days. I walk to class hating the way things are going. I hate doing this and that. I've just been very bitter lately. But... yesterday and today actually went alright because of have Rachael to hang with and talk to about my bitterness. And guess what?! She's super bitter too!! Not necessarily a good thing but she showed me how I've been acting through her actions and made me calm down a little bit.
Until this morning when I find out that my cell phone died in the middle of the night so obviously my alarm didn't go off. I ended up being ten minutes late to my chemistry lab. Now, usually this is no big deal because our TA has been late to every single class we've had this entire semester, so I could afford to be a few minutes behind. Apparently she was on time today and kept asking Rachael if I was coming and if I was more that 15 minutes late I wouldn't be able to do that lab. Well obviously that is false because
My mini rant is that I hate the word "studying." I hate it when people say they are going to "study" when they're really just doing homework. My roommate is a perfect examply. He keeps saying he's going to study a lot this weekend but he has no test anytime soon. Studying is when you are preparing for a test; homework is everything else. End rant.
My mini rant is that I hate the word "studying." I hate it when people say they are going to "study" when they're really just doing homework. My roommate is a perfect examply. He keeps saying he's going to study a lot this weekend but he has no test anytime soon. Studying is when you are preparing for a test; homework is everything else. End rant.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Comfortable.
I haven't blogged in so long that I have so much to say and I can't even begin to understand how to start it all!
First off... It was a GREAT decision to go home this past weekend. I had debated back and forth whether it was a good idea and looking back, I'm glad I did it. It was so nice to see all of my friends and family and bring back some familiarity in my life. Of course, it didn't help having the entire fire department including the chief tell me that they missed having me around town and wished I were back. It definitely made it that much harder to come back to Oklahoma. All in all though, I definitely felt very comfortable back home with all the people I know and love.
Last night I was in my doom room with my roommate and his friend Chris and Chris and I had a really nice, heart to heart conversation. And by heart to heart, I'm meaning we talked about everything from the good and bad of marijuana, lowering the drinking age, religion, and everything in between! Don't get me wrong; I'm not 100% for lowering the drinking age and DEFINITELY not for marijuana, but he made his good points and I had my good points. And it made me feel really comfortable to have this nice conversation with Chris. It made me realize that I maybe haven't changed so much since starting college.
Earlier today I was looking through my emails, which seem to pile up all of the time, and I see one from the admissions office at the University of Iowa. I got accepted!! While back home, it was difficult to tell people the reasons as to why I'm deciding to move back to Iowa after this semester. It was even more difficult when people wanted to say that I'm not, "sticking it out." That phrase honestly makes me feel like a complete failure. I just wish people could get it through their heads that I'M NOT GIVING UP!!!! Some people think 2 months at an instituion is a good amount of time and others think it's not. Guess what? I don't really care what you think. I know, for myself, that Oklahoma isn't a good place for me to be at this point in my life. I know that it's not a fit for me here and I'm going to change that. You can try to "talk me down" all you want but ultimatly it's my decision and I'm going to be the one suffering the consequences; good or bad. No matter what my decision, I'm going to do what I want and what is comfortable for me.
You know, I find it funny that I hadn't even been in Iowa for a couple of hours and I was already volunteering for my community. I miss my hometown so much that it hurts me everytime something happens around town and I can't be a part of it. When I've been so involved with so many organizations, I just want to be there filling the void that I left behind. And one of the reasons I gave people for my wanting to move back to Iowa is that I have so many ties back to our community that I'm not ready to give up yet. Not just my volunteer activities, but my family, my friends, our farm. All of those things are important to me and I don't think one should just give everything up at the flick of a switch because of their movement to college. Those are the activities and people that make me comfortable, and I don't want to give that up.
As you can tell, the moral of my blog is all about being comfortable. I want to be comfortable with the things I am doing and that's not been happening here. And the answer to the problem is easy; change something. Become...you guessed it...comfortable.
As you can tell, the moral of my blog is all about being comfortable. I want to be comfortable with the things I am doing and that's not been happening here. And the answer to the problem is easy; change something. Become...you guessed it...comfortable.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Time Limits
As another blogger friend of mine was talking about his issues with his math class, I find it ironic that I'm complaining about my class today too!
We usually take a quiz every week in my trig class and so I knew it was coming today and was, in my mind, pretty well prepared for it. Our TA always gives us 10 minutes and there's always 5 problems on the quizzes. Recently we've been covering topics that have problems and equations that sometimes take a while to solve. On my quiz today I only got 3 of the 5 problems done because of the stupid time limit! Luckliy I wasn't alone because almost all of the class didn't finish.
AND THEN!!..... This TA had the audacity to tell us, the class, that we were unprepared for the quiz and need to spend more time studying. EXCUSE ME!!!??? I knew how to do every problem on that quiz but because of your stupid time limit, I couldn't finish! I hate it when people make assumptions based on random knowledge. It's like calling individuals horribly mean names when you don't know anything about that person. NOBODY SHOULD JUDGE ONE ANOTHER!!!!!
Other than that little escapade, today has gone pretty good. :)
We usually take a quiz every week in my trig class and so I knew it was coming today and was, in my mind, pretty well prepared for it. Our TA always gives us 10 minutes and there's always 5 problems on the quizzes. Recently we've been covering topics that have problems and equations that sometimes take a while to solve. On my quiz today I only got 3 of the 5 problems done because of the stupid time limit! Luckliy I wasn't alone because almost all of the class didn't finish.
AND THEN!!..... This TA had the audacity to tell us, the class, that we were unprepared for the quiz and need to spend more time studying. EXCUSE ME!!!??? I knew how to do every problem on that quiz but because of your stupid time limit, I couldn't finish! I hate it when people make assumptions based on random knowledge. It's like calling individuals horribly mean names when you don't know anything about that person. NOBODY SHOULD JUDGE ONE ANOTHER!!!!!
Other than that little escapade, today has gone pretty good. :)
Monday, September 29, 2014
Laughter is a wonderful thing!
Everyone does it. Some days we find ourselves doing it more than other days. Sometimes we can't even breath because we're doing it so much. Sometimes we start crying from doing it so much! What am I talking about? The wonders of laughter of course!
Since my time here in Oklahoma I've found that I haven't really been laughing that much. Of course I WANT to laugh, I just haven't found my place or person in which I can laugh and enjoy my time with. On that note, however, I had supper with my chemistry partner, Rachael, tonight and it was a quite pleasant time. We laughed and turned supper into a nice hour and a half long conversation about a little of everything. And guess what..... I genuinly laughed for a good portion of the time spent with her. I haven't been able to laugh like that since leaving Iowa. It just makes me so happy to be happy right now!! I'm happy for a couple of different reasons at this time but there's no need for details.
I'm anxiously awaiting my arrival back to Iowa which is only 24 days, 00 hours, 13 minutes, and 42 seconds from right.........NOW!!!!
Since my time here in Oklahoma I've found that I haven't really been laughing that much. Of course I WANT to laugh, I just haven't found my place or person in which I can laugh and enjoy my time with. On that note, however, I had supper with my chemistry partner, Rachael, tonight and it was a quite pleasant time. We laughed and turned supper into a nice hour and a half long conversation about a little of everything. And guess what..... I genuinly laughed for a good portion of the time spent with her. I haven't been able to laugh like that since leaving Iowa. It just makes me so happy to be happy right now!! I'm happy for a couple of different reasons at this time but there's no need for details.
I'm anxiously awaiting my arrival back to Iowa which is only 24 days, 00 hours, 13 minutes, and 42 seconds from right.........NOW!!!!
Monday, September 22, 2014
Living vs. Surviving
I was talking to a friend of mine (one of the very few) on our way back from a class this morning and we discussed our feelings about college. We both agreed that college seems to be another institution holding you back from the real world because most people aren't ready for the real world.
I am ready though. I can't wait to be out in the real world. I can't wait to make my own money consistently. I can't wait to pay my own bills. You heard that right. I can't wait to pay bills!! I can't wait to take ownership in the things that I have. I can't wait to be doing what I want to do.
And then I look at the way I am living right now, and I find that "living" is the wrong word to use. I'm not living right now here in Oklahoma; merely surviving. I haven't made great friends or been living the college life, I've just been surviving what I've been thrown into.
And let me tell you; that's a really hard reality to face. I have good days and bad days, and the bad days just suck even more everytime I have them. I'm tired of hating my life. I'm very tired of fighting with myself over the situation that I'm in.
I keep trying to look to see where God is in all of this though. Was God telling me from the start to not come here and yet I decided to do what I thought I wanted to do instead? That's a posibility. Was God leading me down here, even if for just a short time, to do His work? That's also a possibility. With all of that in mind though, I'm not enjoying my time at all and I feel that God hears that and will hopefully change something.
I hope everyone is having a fantastic day!
I am ready though. I can't wait to be out in the real world. I can't wait to make my own money consistently. I can't wait to pay my own bills. You heard that right. I can't wait to pay bills!! I can't wait to take ownership in the things that I have. I can't wait to be doing what I want to do.
And then I look at the way I am living right now, and I find that "living" is the wrong word to use. I'm not living right now here in Oklahoma; merely surviving. I haven't made great friends or been living the college life, I've just been surviving what I've been thrown into.
And let me tell you; that's a really hard reality to face. I have good days and bad days, and the bad days just suck even more everytime I have them. I'm tired of hating my life. I'm very tired of fighting with myself over the situation that I'm in.
I keep trying to look to see where God is in all of this though. Was God telling me from the start to not come here and yet I decided to do what I thought I wanted to do instead? That's a posibility. Was God leading me down here, even if for just a short time, to do His work? That's also a possibility. With all of that in mind though, I'm not enjoying my time at all and I feel that God hears that and will hopefully change something.
I hope everyone is having a fantastic day!
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
A Whole Entire Year
It's unbelievable. I can't believe this......... A year ago today my life changed completely. Not necessarily on the outside, but inside of me. September 16, 2013 will always be a special day in my heart. Let me take you through that day......
It was a completely normal day. I went to school like any other normal day of the week. It was about a month into my senior year of high school and things were going pretty good. I didn't have too many cares in the world and I was okay with that. I had just gotten back from a weekend mission trip with some lady whom I had just met. She seemed a little crazy and I can't believe she would ask about my relationship with Jesus. I would kind of brush it off and not really think about it. I'm not good enough for God. I have so many faults and screw-ups in my life there's no way he could love ME.
My very best friend and I had to go somewhere on the Monday following my getting back from the trip and then we drove around our small little town doing who knows what. We get back to the high school parking lot and sit there and talk. We always talk about everything in the book so I didn't really expect anything special out of that night. Even though that particular night we were talking about God and salvation, it didn't really phase me. We had talked about it before and nothing had happened so...whatever.
She tells me over and over again, "no matter what, God loves you. He loves you through your best and worst times and just wants you to follow Him through life." I then started feeling a bunch of anxiety in my chest. I felt like I was having trouble breathing. What is going on? She and I kept talking and I started to realize some things. All Jesus wants is to love me, and for me to love Him. I am a sinner. I have faults. I do wrong lots of times. Jesus, you still love me through all of that and want me to follow you and join you in heaven when my life ends on this earth. God, please allow me to follow you and apologize for my sins. Your love is so great and I just want to love you!
And that's when the flood gates broke open! My friend and I prayed and I instantly burst into tears. A wave of something I can't even describe came crashing over me. I felt super nervous but also an area of peace was in my heart. God, came into my heart and my life and allowed me to walk with him. I couldn't even describe the feeling, and still can't to this day!
We decided to call the crazy mission trip lady and tell her the wonderful news. Though I couldn't even make the phone call because I was such a mess, we called and then went to her house where she opened the door and instantly embraced me in one of the most emotional hugs I've ever felt in my life. This is such a surreal feeling that I now don't know if I made the right decision!
One year ago today I had one of the best days in my life. I definitely wouldn't have changed that day one bit. For about a month I honestly thought I had made the wrong decision. I thought, "Well now that the emotional part is over, nothing really changed, I don't feel any different." I now realize that I was unsure because I wasn't thinking about things with God in mind. I was only seeing the world through MY eyes, not God's.
Now, it's not to say my life since that day hasn't been super crazy, hectic, and/or ridiculously busy, but I can now be confident with where I stand in my faith walk and where I'm going in life. I can pray about things I'm struggling with and I know that God will be there to listen to me. I have SO much confidence in my faith that I just want to spread Jesus' word to everyone!! I don't care if you're already a Christian or you're an athiest that wants to yell in my face about how much the Chrisitan faith is a bunch of crap, I still want everyone to believe. I want to see all of my friends in heaven. If I could ask one thing, it's for people to listen to what Christianity ACTUALLY is, not what the sterotypes are. Loving God isn't about the rules of Christianity or the do's and don'ts. It's simply about love.
I love God so much and I just hope that I don't turn people away with the things I'm saying. I've gained so many wonderful friendships in the past year with my new outlook on life, but I've also ruined a couple. I just had to open my big mouth when I should have kept it shut. But I believe the conversations I've had over the past year with these people was meant for something, and I know I can't beat myself up trying to figure it out, so I hope I can have the faith that I need to let some friendships go, as much as it hurts.
(So much for being a simple blog post!) All in all, it's been a wonderful past year with some amazing people and I can't wait for more years to come! Praise Jesus and praise him for his salvation!
P.S. That crazy lady turned out to be not so crazy after all!!! :)
It was a completely normal day. I went to school like any other normal day of the week. It was about a month into my senior year of high school and things were going pretty good. I didn't have too many cares in the world and I was okay with that. I had just gotten back from a weekend mission trip with some lady whom I had just met. She seemed a little crazy and I can't believe she would ask about my relationship with Jesus. I would kind of brush it off and not really think about it. I'm not good enough for God. I have so many faults and screw-ups in my life there's no way he could love ME.
My very best friend and I had to go somewhere on the Monday following my getting back from the trip and then we drove around our small little town doing who knows what. We get back to the high school parking lot and sit there and talk. We always talk about everything in the book so I didn't really expect anything special out of that night. Even though that particular night we were talking about God and salvation, it didn't really phase me. We had talked about it before and nothing had happened so...whatever.
She tells me over and over again, "no matter what, God loves you. He loves you through your best and worst times and just wants you to follow Him through life." I then started feeling a bunch of anxiety in my chest. I felt like I was having trouble breathing. What is going on? She and I kept talking and I started to realize some things. All Jesus wants is to love me, and for me to love Him. I am a sinner. I have faults. I do wrong lots of times. Jesus, you still love me through all of that and want me to follow you and join you in heaven when my life ends on this earth. God, please allow me to follow you and apologize for my sins. Your love is so great and I just want to love you!
And that's when the flood gates broke open! My friend and I prayed and I instantly burst into tears. A wave of something I can't even describe came crashing over me. I felt super nervous but also an area of peace was in my heart. God, came into my heart and my life and allowed me to walk with him. I couldn't even describe the feeling, and still can't to this day!
We decided to call the crazy mission trip lady and tell her the wonderful news. Though I couldn't even make the phone call because I was such a mess, we called and then went to her house where she opened the door and instantly embraced me in one of the most emotional hugs I've ever felt in my life. This is such a surreal feeling that I now don't know if I made the right decision!
One year ago today I had one of the best days in my life. I definitely wouldn't have changed that day one bit. For about a month I honestly thought I had made the wrong decision. I thought, "Well now that the emotional part is over, nothing really changed, I don't feel any different." I now realize that I was unsure because I wasn't thinking about things with God in mind. I was only seeing the world through MY eyes, not God's.
Now, it's not to say my life since that day hasn't been super crazy, hectic, and/or ridiculously busy, but I can now be confident with where I stand in my faith walk and where I'm going in life. I can pray about things I'm struggling with and I know that God will be there to listen to me. I have SO much confidence in my faith that I just want to spread Jesus' word to everyone!! I don't care if you're already a Christian or you're an athiest that wants to yell in my face about how much the Chrisitan faith is a bunch of crap, I still want everyone to believe. I want to see all of my friends in heaven. If I could ask one thing, it's for people to listen to what Christianity ACTUALLY is, not what the sterotypes are. Loving God isn't about the rules of Christianity or the do's and don'ts. It's simply about love.
I love God so much and I just hope that I don't turn people away with the things I'm saying. I've gained so many wonderful friendships in the past year with my new outlook on life, but I've also ruined a couple. I just had to open my big mouth when I should have kept it shut. But I believe the conversations I've had over the past year with these people was meant for something, and I know I can't beat myself up trying to figure it out, so I hope I can have the faith that I need to let some friendships go, as much as it hurts.
(So much for being a simple blog post!) All in all, it's been a wonderful past year with some amazing people and I can't wait for more years to come! Praise Jesus and praise him for his salvation!
P.S. That crazy lady turned out to be not so crazy after all!!! :)
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Back and forth.
Why is this such a struggle? I've been back and forth and back and forth constantly over the past few days. Going from, "I hate it hear and am definitely moving back to Iowa for second semester" to "it's not too bad here. I can see myself staying the whole year." This repetitive situation is really trying on my emotions.
On a side note, I had a really good talk with my chemistry lab partner the other night. We made small talk while walking back from a test and then deeper converstaion insued. The last half hour was me explaining what it means to be saved and where I am in my faith. This girl went to a catholic high school and didn't know what it meant to be saved or give your heart to Christ. Wait....WHAT?! Shouldn't that be something you should teach from week 1? She said her school basically gave them all of the catholic "rules" and didn't really discuss what the entire religion was really about. I personally think that's a HUGE fault in the catholic school system right there.
All in all, I've been pretty busy and time is actually going by somewhat faster than I originally expected. T-39 days, 23 hours, 32 minutes, and 14 seconds until I'm home!! I can't wait to see my friends....
Night all!
On a side note, I had a really good talk with my chemistry lab partner the other night. We made small talk while walking back from a test and then deeper converstaion insued. The last half hour was me explaining what it means to be saved and where I am in my faith. This girl went to a catholic high school and didn't know what it meant to be saved or give your heart to Christ. Wait....WHAT?! Shouldn't that be something you should teach from week 1? She said her school basically gave them all of the catholic "rules" and didn't really discuss what the entire religion was really about. I personally think that's a HUGE fault in the catholic school system right there.
All in all, I've been pretty busy and time is actually going by somewhat faster than I originally expected. T-39 days, 23 hours, 32 minutes, and 14 seconds until I'm home!! I can't wait to see my friends....
Night all!
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Me time.
Alone. By definition this word means "separated from others." And that's pretty much how I feel. I'm separated from the ones I know and love. I'm separated from those that I have comfort with. I'm separated from the people whom I like to laugh and have a good time with. I'm alone.
Now, "alone time" on the other hand, is something completely different. I'm really starting to miss my alone time. Whenever things would get heavy back home, I could always go to the basement of the house and watch TV or surf the internet without anyone bothering me or talking to me. I love having the time where I can relax and think about things and process through all the worries of the day. I can't do that here. I don't have the friends to go out with and talk about things and have intelligent conversation. I don't have my alone time to just relax and not have to worry about anything. Now I'm not saying my roommate is a complete loner like me though. He does leave for things, as do I. But there's so much going on all the time and so many people, I can't seem to get away from it all. I can't leave and go anywhere because I have nowhere to go, and nobody to go with. My roommate and I go to Wal-Mart maybe once a week, but I'm getting to the point that I'm tired of going with him everywhere.
I want my friends. I want people that I can hang out with and enjoy spending time with and not be judged. And I swear, if someone else tells me that I need to get out and do things and meet people, I'm going to go crazy! I AM getting out to different organizations and I AM meeting people, but nobody I've met is the type of person I would like to be around. I'm just so out of my element and I don't know what to do. I've been considering staying here for a whole year but at this point, I don't think I can handle it. I just want to be home..... Not even home though. I just want to be in a place where I can make new friends but also see some old friends too. I want to be in a place where I can come home for certain events without it being a huge hassle. I wanted to get away and see things outside of my small town, but why did that have to mean leaving the state?
Here, right now, in this moment, is not fun for me. I'm honestly not enjoying my time here. I'm going to keep up the things I've been doing but the more I think about it, the more I'm struggling with handling the situation I'm in right now. This sounds so bad and I don't want to say it. . . but I'm starting to hate this part of my life.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Planning for it.
These past few days have been somewhat busy getting school work done, but I've also spent a lot of time thinking.
On my mind constantly is regarding my trip back in October to the small Iowa world I call home. I'm so excited to go back, even if it's just for a short weekend!! I've been thinking about who I'm going to go see and what I'm going to do each moment of my time back. Of course, I think about the fact that I'll be back in November and December for a lot longer of a period, but then remember something that I tell people all of the time. . . we aren't guarenteed tomorrow. It's not guarenteed that I'll come back for Thanksgiving or Christmas. If God's plan affects my days, then that's his plan and I can't change that. Not to be a pessimist, but it's the truth.
I'm just so excited to see my close friends, go to a football game and play the bass drum in the stands, and just TALK TO PEOPLE!!!!! I miss so many people back home, and it's hard to keep them off of my mind when they tell me that they miss me or have cried because I'm so far away. Thanks for the pain! But honestly, I'm thinking about home constantly (if you can't tell from this blog post). I miss my fire department and CERT group. I miss my little podunk, out-of-the-way town. I miss my family (some biological and some not). I miss (some) of my teachers.
It's going to be hard having to leave Sunday night and head back here, but then I'll only have another month before coming back for a longer time. Then two weeks after that I'll be home for almost a whole month!! I just can't wait!!!!
Prayer time!
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for the opportunities you've given me over the past few years and even my whole life. You've steered me towards the direction that I feel is where you want me, and I'm so thankful for that. I do say that I want to be home all of the time, but I know that your plan is for me to be here for the time being. Please help my friends and family through the times they are going through and with the struggles that they are talking to you about. You listen through the good and the bad times and for that I am thankful. I ask that you help a good friend of mine prepare for and suceed in a big test he is going to be taking early next week. Guide him through this process with ease and take his life and put it where you want it.
Lord, thank you so much for everything you do. You're simply amazing. There really are no words to explain your gratitude and love for everyone. You rock!!
I pray this in Jesus' name,
Amen.
On my mind constantly is regarding my trip back in October to the small Iowa world I call home. I'm so excited to go back, even if it's just for a short weekend!! I've been thinking about who I'm going to go see and what I'm going to do each moment of my time back. Of course, I think about the fact that I'll be back in November and December for a lot longer of a period, but then remember something that I tell people all of the time. . . we aren't guarenteed tomorrow. It's not guarenteed that I'll come back for Thanksgiving or Christmas. If God's plan affects my days, then that's his plan and I can't change that. Not to be a pessimist, but it's the truth.
I'm just so excited to see my close friends, go to a football game and play the bass drum in the stands, and just TALK TO PEOPLE!!!!! I miss so many people back home, and it's hard to keep them off of my mind when they tell me that they miss me or have cried because I'm so far away. Thanks for the pain! But honestly, I'm thinking about home constantly (if you can't tell from this blog post). I miss my fire department and CERT group. I miss my little podunk, out-of-the-way town. I miss my family (some biological and some not). I miss (some) of my teachers.
It's going to be hard having to leave Sunday night and head back here, but then I'll only have another month before coming back for a longer time. Then two weeks after that I'll be home for almost a whole month!! I just can't wait!!!!
Prayer time!
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for the opportunities you've given me over the past few years and even my whole life. You've steered me towards the direction that I feel is where you want me, and I'm so thankful for that. I do say that I want to be home all of the time, but I know that your plan is for me to be here for the time being. Please help my friends and family through the times they are going through and with the struggles that they are talking to you about. You listen through the good and the bad times and for that I am thankful. I ask that you help a good friend of mine prepare for and suceed in a big test he is going to be taking early next week. Guide him through this process with ease and take his life and put it where you want it.
Lord, thank you so much for everything you do. You're simply amazing. There really are no words to explain your gratitude and love for everyone. You rock!!
I pray this in Jesus' name,
Amen.
Friday, August 29, 2014
GOD IS SOOO GOOD!!!!!!
Many of you received text messages from me earlier today with the same text that makes up the title of this blog post. So let me explain. . .
First of all, yesterday was an alright day, but there were some struggles. After my calculus class, I realized that I was nowhere near prepared for the class and I was really struggling even understanding how to do one problem. Letters and variables I had never seen before were being used like I should have known them years ago. I decided to try switching to a different math class that would be more suited to me. (I don't need calculus for nursing anyway!) I went to talk to an advisor and they explained to me that after the second week of classes, the math department has to handle and approve all changes. So I left and walked to the OTHER side of campus to talk to the math department. I walk in to this lady's office and asked if she is who I needed to talk to to switch classes. She told me that she had instructions on her office door that I needed to follow. This included emailing her with the class I want to switch to and what different sections would fit my schedule, remembering that I might not even get into any of the classes.
I left her office and immediately wrote down all sections that would work for me and emailed her the list. I didn't hear anything back all day and was starting to feel doubtful. I went to my scholars group meeting which was. . . whatever. The speaker was very engaging and fun to listen to but I really didn't care to be there. As I was leaving my meeting, I received an email from the Sooner CERT president informing me that I was going to be one of the people working on the stretcher team at the football game this weekend. So not only will I get into the football game for free, I get to be on the field and work with the Norman EMS staff! Praise God!!
I went straight from my meeting to a large group bible study that was being put on by a group called Intervarsity. The second I walked into the room, I felt super comfortable with everyone and had no problem talking to people and making friends. I actually saw a few people from my scholars group that I connected with as well! At Intervarsity, we studied a passage in John 6. One of the main concepts was to believe. "Then they asked him, 'What must we do to do the works God requires?' Jesus answered, 'The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent'" (John 6: 28-29 NIV). Let me emphasize that. . . BELIEVE!!!!! All God is asking us to do is to believe! This leads me back to one of my favorite bible verses. "We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are" (Romans 3:22 NLT). Just BELIEVE!! That's all it takes! Believe in Jesus Christ and what he has done for you!! He's AMAZING!!!!!!
I left intervarsity and walked back the 3/4 mile to the dorms with a very nice girl named Mallory. We talked about our hometowns and other small talk. Praise God for growing friendships!
Moving on to today, I prayed and prayed both last night and this morning that I will be able to get this class switched because it was weighing heavy on my heart. I was sitting in my political science discussion and looked down at my phone because I got an email. The email said that I had been approved to switch math classes through the math department!! PRAISE THE LORD JESUS!!!!! It might sound like something stupid to be so excited about but I was absolutely sure I was going to do very bad in the calculus class and I really needed to switch.
My lesson in the past two days is that nothing to impossible for Christ! He has shown me over and over that he is in control and that I need to believe in His will. YES FATHER!!!! I want to be in Your will! I want to be a part of Your plan! I just want to praise Your name EVERYWHERE right now!!! Thank you lord for everything you continue to do for me and thank you for looking out for me!! AMEN JESUS!
First of all, yesterday was an alright day, but there were some struggles. After my calculus class, I realized that I was nowhere near prepared for the class and I was really struggling even understanding how to do one problem. Letters and variables I had never seen before were being used like I should have known them years ago. I decided to try switching to a different math class that would be more suited to me. (I don't need calculus for nursing anyway!) I went to talk to an advisor and they explained to me that after the second week of classes, the math department has to handle and approve all changes. So I left and walked to the OTHER side of campus to talk to the math department. I walk in to this lady's office and asked if she is who I needed to talk to to switch classes. She told me that she had instructions on her office door that I needed to follow. This included emailing her with the class I want to switch to and what different sections would fit my schedule, remembering that I might not even get into any of the classes.
I left her office and immediately wrote down all sections that would work for me and emailed her the list. I didn't hear anything back all day and was starting to feel doubtful. I went to my scholars group meeting which was. . . whatever. The speaker was very engaging and fun to listen to but I really didn't care to be there. As I was leaving my meeting, I received an email from the Sooner CERT president informing me that I was going to be one of the people working on the stretcher team at the football game this weekend. So not only will I get into the football game for free, I get to be on the field and work with the Norman EMS staff! Praise God!!
I went straight from my meeting to a large group bible study that was being put on by a group called Intervarsity. The second I walked into the room, I felt super comfortable with everyone and had no problem talking to people and making friends. I actually saw a few people from my scholars group that I connected with as well! At Intervarsity, we studied a passage in John 6. One of the main concepts was to believe. "Then they asked him, 'What must we do to do the works God requires?' Jesus answered, 'The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent'" (John 6: 28-29 NIV). Let me emphasize that. . . BELIEVE!!!!! All God is asking us to do is to believe! This leads me back to one of my favorite bible verses. "We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are" (Romans 3:22 NLT). Just BELIEVE!! That's all it takes! Believe in Jesus Christ and what he has done for you!! He's AMAZING!!!!!!
I left intervarsity and walked back the 3/4 mile to the dorms with a very nice girl named Mallory. We talked about our hometowns and other small talk. Praise God for growing friendships!
Moving on to today, I prayed and prayed both last night and this morning that I will be able to get this class switched because it was weighing heavy on my heart. I was sitting in my political science discussion and looked down at my phone because I got an email. The email said that I had been approved to switch math classes through the math department!! PRAISE THE LORD JESUS!!!!! It might sound like something stupid to be so excited about but I was absolutely sure I was going to do very bad in the calculus class and I really needed to switch.
My lesson in the past two days is that nothing to impossible for Christ! He has shown me over and over that he is in control and that I need to believe in His will. YES FATHER!!!! I want to be in Your will! I want to be a part of Your plan! I just want to praise Your name EVERYWHERE right now!!! Thank you lord for everything you continue to do for me and thank you for looking out for me!! AMEN JESUS!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
God is great!
For this blog post, I have plenty to say. As for the reasoning behind it, I'm speechless. So let me take you through my day. . .
I started off this morning with a three hour chemistry lab that ended up not being too bad and I actually enjoyed it. I went to my second and third class without incident and then walked from my last class to my meeting with our campus emergency manager. Prayers were coming out of my mouth left and right. "Jesus, I really want to be able to have EMT opportunities in this community and I know I can make a difference. Please, in your will, let all of this work out." I sat down and talked to her about my FEMA legacy project ideas, the campus CERT team, and about my EMT certification. Regarding my EMT, she didn't have a whole lot to say. She said she only knew of Norman Regional Hospital and the Norman Fire Department which she said she would give me contact information to, but it didn't sound promising. I left her office feeling saddness in my heart, because I kept thinking, "Maybe EMT isn't for me here. Should I look at other options? Should I move back to Iowa?"
I then went to my next meeting at the National Weather Center with a forecasting group called the Oklahoma Weather Lab (OWL). As the head of the school of meteorology was talking about his controbutions in meteorology and projects being worked on, I made a final determination on my career path. Meteorology is not going to be for me (not news to anyone). I do like forecasting and I do like watching storms, but that's where the line stops.
Our meeting ran late and I had to hurry to my third meeting of the night. (Does this seem like high school senior year revisited?) I arrived at the OU CERT team meeting just in time and they started to talk about some programs that were going to be coming in the next few weeks. There was also an OU police officer there to explain a few things about some of these programs/events. One of these events was going to be a stretcher team helping the on-site paramedics with the Saturday football game here at OU. After the meeting, I went up to the officer to introduce myself and talk about any EMT opportunities he knew of. And by the grace of God the doors flew open!!
This officer, named John, told me that with being EMT certified and already CERT trained, I would most definitely be on the top of the list to help with the stretcher team on Saturday. He then went on to tell me that Norman Regional Hospital hires part-time and full-time BLS staff (a.k.a. me) to do non-emergency transports and other stuff with the hospital as a job. THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!!! After talking on a more personal level for a while, he offered to personally introduce me to the hospital emergency medical services administration personel who would be at the game Saturday.
So not only will I (most likely) get into the football game for FREE and work on the field, I will (most likely) have a job in the next few weeks that I absolutely love doing!!!! Just when I was beginning to doubt my possibilities here, the doors completely opened up and God's light shone through!!
Philippians 4:13 "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
Amen Brothas!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
High School vs. College
I always knew there was going to be a huge transition between high school and college, but I've actually started to realize it tonight.
I was sitting here, trying to figure out how our professor wanted us to write our chemistry pre-lab report, and I started to get very frustrated because I simply didn't understand. The instructions were vague at best and there was no specific way they wanted us to write it. What do people do when they get frustrated? They procrastinate, and their mind wanders. (Myself anyway!)
I started to realize that this is a feeling I was having a short two years ago. Junior year in high school wasn't too bad except for that dreaded chemistry class. The stupid class with the stupid teacher with stupid points. Who cares anyway?! And then it hit me. . . he cared.
Most teachers would baby you along and pretty much give you the right answer to each problem if you asked for it; he didn't. Most teachers would give you such specific instructions to an issue or problem that even a four year old could understand how to do it; he didn't. Most teachers would have simpathy for stupid little excuses that students came up with; he didn't. (Though I'm not trying to make him sound like an a**hole.)
This man, who I'm proud to say is my friend, taught me lessons that I wouldn't even use for TWO YEARS, but that I still needed to know. At the time, I just wanted to get through the class with an A because I really didn't care. Now as a college student, I understand what his mentality was behind all of this.
If I can say anything to my underclassman readers (which is maybe one person, but possibly not even), it's that you need to work for the things you're involved with. Don't take the easy way out of things because you will get blindsided very quickly when you move on to a different world outside of your comfort zone. Thank the people who make you work for things in life. I know it's hard now but the realization will come later on that they did make a huge impact on your life.
I was sitting here, trying to figure out how our professor wanted us to write our chemistry pre-lab report, and I started to get very frustrated because I simply didn't understand. The instructions were vague at best and there was no specific way they wanted us to write it. What do people do when they get frustrated? They procrastinate, and their mind wanders. (Myself anyway!)
I started to realize that this is a feeling I was having a short two years ago. Junior year in high school wasn't too bad except for that dreaded chemistry class. The stupid class with the stupid teacher with stupid points. Who cares anyway?! And then it hit me. . . he cared.
Most teachers would baby you along and pretty much give you the right answer to each problem if you asked for it; he didn't. Most teachers would give you such specific instructions to an issue or problem that even a four year old could understand how to do it; he didn't. Most teachers would have simpathy for stupid little excuses that students came up with; he didn't. (Though I'm not trying to make him sound like an a**hole.)
This man, who I'm proud to say is my friend, taught me lessons that I wouldn't even use for TWO YEARS, but that I still needed to know. At the time, I just wanted to get through the class with an A because I really didn't care. Now as a college student, I understand what his mentality was behind all of this.
If I can say anything to my underclassman readers (which is maybe one person, but possibly not even), it's that you need to work for the things you're involved with. Don't take the easy way out of things because you will get blindsided very quickly when you move on to a different world outside of your comfort zone. Thank the people who make you work for things in life. I know it's hard now but the realization will come later on that they did make a huge impact on your life.
Please God, Please.
Since I only have a few minutes before I have to go to my next class, I'm going to make this short.
I seem to be having trouble lately praying and talking to God, so I'm going to do it on here!
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for this opportunity to come to this seemingly different world and the doors you've opened with many differnt people and organizations. I'm trying not to get my hopes up for my talk with the emergency manager tomorrow as there's a very good possibility that there are no EMT opportunities here, but I ask you to please open doors for me in the EMS world. We both know it's something I enjoy and I would really like to do it here, but if it's not in your plan, I completely understand.
Though I never became completely awesome friends with this guy back home, thank you for giving me the words of encouragement that I could then give to him in his difficult times last night. Talking to him reminded me that you are always with me and are always speaking the truth into my ear, even when I don't want to hear it or are avoiding you. You stand by my side no matter what. Whether I'm stuggling and come to you or when I'm having a great time and am ignoring you.
Thank you for everything you've done for me and continue to do for me.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.
I seem to be having trouble lately praying and talking to God, so I'm going to do it on here!
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for this opportunity to come to this seemingly different world and the doors you've opened with many differnt people and organizations. I'm trying not to get my hopes up for my talk with the emergency manager tomorrow as there's a very good possibility that there are no EMT opportunities here, but I ask you to please open doors for me in the EMS world. We both know it's something I enjoy and I would really like to do it here, but if it's not in your plan, I completely understand.
Though I never became completely awesome friends with this guy back home, thank you for giving me the words of encouragement that I could then give to him in his difficult times last night. Talking to him reminded me that you are always with me and are always speaking the truth into my ear, even when I don't want to hear it or are avoiding you. You stand by my side no matter what. Whether I'm stuggling and come to you or when I'm having a great time and am ignoring you.
Thank you for everything you've done for me and continue to do for me.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Prayer
The simple thing that I've been needing to do this whole time and I've been avoiding it. . . and I don't know why. I AM a new christian and I AM sometimes forgetful how powerful prayer is. It's amazing how at one in the morning I can have a great conversation about Jesus with some girl whom I've never met before while sitting on the swings, but I forget about my prayers just 10 minutes later.
I go to supper tonight with my entire floor and our RA and sit with some of the guys whom I've talked to before, yet barely a word is said between us. I try to talk to them and it's like I'm some alien from a different planet trying to make conversation. No that's not the reason I don't want to be here, but it helps with the process of deciding if I want to stay or go back to Iowa.
As I'm sitting there, I start to think about prayer. I've been struggling through all of this and am FINALLY realizing that I need to pray constantly about this. I need to talk to God and listen to what he is saying.
Annnddd my mom calls to screw up my night. Thanks.
I go to supper tonight with my entire floor and our RA and sit with some of the guys whom I've talked to before, yet barely a word is said between us. I try to talk to them and it's like I'm some alien from a different planet trying to make conversation. No that's not the reason I don't want to be here, but it helps with the process of deciding if I want to stay or go back to Iowa.
As I'm sitting there, I start to think about prayer. I've been struggling through all of this and am FINALLY realizing that I need to pray constantly about this. I need to talk to God and listen to what he is saying.
Annnddd my mom calls to screw up my night. Thanks.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Strength
I've been here for six days and I feel as though nothing has changed. I went on a retreat for my scholars group and as we were riding the bus home, they had us write a letter to ourselves which we would open about nine months from now. My letter is as follows:
Dear Austin,
Right now you are getting done with the PCS (President's Community Scholars) retreat and you don't know how to feel. You're a little apprehensive about being a part of this group because you feel odd regarding the administration side of volunteering and service. You're not sure if you'll be at OU next year or even next semester. You feel like you don't know where to fit in. Right at this given moment, your home is in Iowa and that's where you want to be. Everyone says their friends from high school never last, but those are the people you want to be with right now. They are the people you want to keep forever. You've met many great individuals thus far but nobody compares to those friends you have back home.
Sincerely,
Austin J. Witt
You know, I've never had any troubles making friends before. Though I've always been uncomfortable in large groups, small groups are fine for me. This is different though. . . this is not something I think I am ready for, meaning the large masses of people. I'm definitely ready for college and everything that college has to offer. I don't like being somewhere where I know absolutely nobody. Maybe it's just an adjustment that I'm going to have to overcome, but I feel like it's not. I keep saying my home is in Iowa and I keep finding that to be true. Everyone always says you have to overstep your comfort zone and I completely agree with that. Unfortunately this situation has pushed me off the cliff of my comfort zone.
Tonight I went to a social gathering at one of the main buildings on campus to hopefully find someone whom I could befriend and get to know. I did make small talk with a few people but it's not like you can say, "Hey! You're by yourself. I'm by myself. Let's be friends and go places together so that college won't be awkward for either of us!" Life just doesn't work like that.
I'm trying to listen to God and see what His will is for me. I just want to know if I'm going back to Iowa or staying here for the next four years. He obviously knows where I think my heart is leading me but I have to listen to His plan. I already know that my desires are going to get in the way but I'll try my best to listen to Him.
As I'm wrapping up my thoughts. . . I'm just really struggling. When people asked about my college plans and if I was worried, I would always say that it's nothing for me to go so far away. I'm now realizing that I was wrong. I hope that once classes start I can get my mind off things and focus on studying. (Never thought I'd say that!) I just really want some normalcy back in my life.
Dear Austin,
Right now you are getting done with the PCS (President's Community Scholars) retreat and you don't know how to feel. You're a little apprehensive about being a part of this group because you feel odd regarding the administration side of volunteering and service. You're not sure if you'll be at OU next year or even next semester. You feel like you don't know where to fit in. Right at this given moment, your home is in Iowa and that's where you want to be. Everyone says their friends from high school never last, but those are the people you want to be with right now. They are the people you want to keep forever. You've met many great individuals thus far but nobody compares to those friends you have back home.
Sincerely,
Austin J. Witt
You know, I've never had any troubles making friends before. Though I've always been uncomfortable in large groups, small groups are fine for me. This is different though. . . this is not something I think I am ready for, meaning the large masses of people. I'm definitely ready for college and everything that college has to offer. I don't like being somewhere where I know absolutely nobody. Maybe it's just an adjustment that I'm going to have to overcome, but I feel like it's not. I keep saying my home is in Iowa and I keep finding that to be true. Everyone always says you have to overstep your comfort zone and I completely agree with that. Unfortunately this situation has pushed me off the cliff of my comfort zone.
Tonight I went to a social gathering at one of the main buildings on campus to hopefully find someone whom I could befriend and get to know. I did make small talk with a few people but it's not like you can say, "Hey! You're by yourself. I'm by myself. Let's be friends and go places together so that college won't be awkward for either of us!" Life just doesn't work like that.
I'm trying to listen to God and see what His will is for me. I just want to know if I'm going back to Iowa or staying here for the next four years. He obviously knows where I think my heart is leading me but I have to listen to His plan. I already know that my desires are going to get in the way but I'll try my best to listen to Him.
As I'm wrapping up my thoughts. . . I'm just really struggling. When people asked about my college plans and if I was worried, I would always say that it's nothing for me to go so far away. I'm now realizing that I was wrong. I hope that once classes start I can get my mind off things and focus on studying. (Never thought I'd say that!) I just really want some normalcy back in my life.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Change
I'm usually ok with change unless I find it to be unnecessary. Going to college in Oklahoma for a reason that isn't my true calling in life is looking unnecessary right now. Don't get me wrong. I really like the campus and the people have been great so far, but my home is in Iowa right now. Where I've already spent my life making connections and planting my roots.
I seem to tell myself that once I have a college major in mind everything will be ok. After knowing that simple part of my life, I can go forward and everything will turn out alright. But it almost stresses me out more thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life BEFORE I even experience anything. I think the next few weeks are going to be taking things a day at a time and rolling with what the world throws at me.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Lovin' life!
Boy oh boy was last night a crazy night!! Just sitting around at Bible study and all of our phones go off saying there's a Tornado Warning for our area. We look outside and see a few lonely clouds to the north and west but that's about it... Until my pager went off. Then the seriousness hit.
I was first to the fire station and went straight to the radar to look at what was coming. I saw a small line of storms headed our way with multiple tornado warnings along the entire line. It first looked as if the storm that was rotating wasn't even going to come new us. As the radar kept updating, it kept moving more and more towards New Sharon and Mahaska County. Another storm looked to be growing to the south and west of the primary storm and I told one of the fire department captains that if that storm matures, it's going to rotate just like all of the other storms along the entire line. The primary rotating storm kept coming closer and closer and we started spreading all of our fire trucks and ambulance apart so if one thing does get hit, we don't lose all of our equipment.
As the minutes ticked by, I sent out message after message of multiple warnings as they came out. Finally, the new storm sucked some of the energy from the primary storm and we got out of the danger area. Like I had originally thought though, the new storm started to rotate and the city of Oskaloosa became part of the new Tornado Warning.
Long night with two different great groups of people that I enjoy being with.
AJW out!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Oh boy.
Apply for the Absentee Enrollment for Oklahoma? Check. Get my car back after having the CERT car all weekend? Check. Help prepare the softball field for the game tonight? Check. Pay for my EMT National Registry test? Check. Enjoy the softball game? Check. Not much else to say... life is pretty good. Unless you ask me what I'm going to be doing with my life. People keep asking me that question everyday and I'm starting to finally say I'm "probably" not going to be doing meteorology. "Oh it'll be an emergency services side of meteorology." Making progress!!
Monday, June 30, 2014
I'm Back!!!
I've been writing to a blog-type website for the past week or so and I find it a little easier to get things out so I'm trying this whole blog thing again. And for those reading this, the OhLife.com, blog-type website asks me to email it everyday and I plan on using that timeline for my blogging so I'm sorry if I waste anyone's time by blogging everyday.
OH MY F%#KING S*&T!!!! Today was a crazy day!! I started the very early morning with a 2:50AM ambulance call. It went well and I realized again that I really enjoy being an EMT. Then.... all hell broke loose! Severe Thunderstorm Warnings, a Tornado Warning, and I finally got to drive the CERT car 10-33; a.k.a. Code; a.k.a. with the emergency lights on!! (Not that exciting for most people but it was something I've really wanted to do since we got that car!) Then it was slowing traffic and blocking flooded roads and later sandbagging the city water pumps before we got flooded out by the river. All of this I did with the New Sharon Fire Department. Everything I enjoyed about today had to do more with responding to emergency's and emergency management, not meteorology. Yes, meteorology had to do with all of the events that took place today but I really enjoyed the vehicles with the lights and sirens! And helping the community.. that's good too!
OH MY F%#KING S*&T!!!! Today was a crazy day!! I started the very early morning with a 2:50AM ambulance call. It went well and I realized again that I really enjoy being an EMT. Then.... all hell broke loose! Severe Thunderstorm Warnings, a Tornado Warning, and I finally got to drive the CERT car 10-33; a.k.a. Code; a.k.a. with the emergency lights on!! (Not that exciting for most people but it was something I've really wanted to do since we got that car!) Then it was slowing traffic and blocking flooded roads and later sandbagging the city water pumps before we got flooded out by the river. All of this I did with the New Sharon Fire Department. Everything I enjoyed about today had to do more with responding to emergency's and emergency management, not meteorology. Yes, meteorology had to do with all of the events that took place today but I really enjoyed the vehicles with the lights and sirens! And helping the community.. that's good too!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Controlling the uncontrolled
It seems that my need for control makes me want to plan my entire life out. On my way too school this morning, the song Mighty To Save came on the radio.
"Saviour he can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save."
Needless to say a few tears were shed before that song was over. I guess I just need to start believing that the fate in the decisions I make is going to be out of my hands. If I can trust Jesus to be my savior, I can trust him to led me through my life decisions.
"Saviour he can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save."
Needless to say a few tears were shed before that song was over. I guess I just need to start believing that the fate in the decisions I make is going to be out of my hands. If I can trust Jesus to be my savior, I can trust him to led me through my life decisions.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Sphygmomanometer + Stethoscope = Happiness
Why does getting a blood pressure cuff and stethoscope in the mail make me so happy?! I just want to go around taking people's blood pressure!! Okay Austin, calm down.
I have three things to talk about today. First of all, I'm really enjoying my EMT class. I talked to my mom yesterday and hinted toward the fact that I'm enjoying the class and I enjoy talking about the class. I can tell she doesn't want me to give up on my dream to go into Meteorology. I don't really think it would disappoint her to switch careers but I'm sure she'll be a little sad. I guess I don't know why I'm freaking out right now because I have the rest of my life to do what I want to do. I suppose I'll just chill for now..
Second, Larry's ill... It's quite a sickening feeling being in the middle of Oskaloosa and having clouds of white smoke coming from the back of your car. Now I'm driving my grandpa's truck around which actually probably gets better gas milage than my car got before!
Last, but not least, I sometimes don't get people's parents. My parents have been totally okay with the freedom and opportunities they've gave me. I've never had to fight for the ability to go out with friends and enjoy my time in high school. While talking with a friend Sunday night, he told me he needs to give up some of the freedom he's been withholding from his daughter. YES YOU DO!!!!!! This girl is a junior in high school and only gets a little sliver of freedom every great once in a while. I personally feel that be keeping your kids under your wing all the time runs the risk of them "going off the deep end" later in life.
I'm not sure why those three things came to mind this morning but I guess that's what my blog is for... Ranting!
I have three things to talk about today. First of all, I'm really enjoying my EMT class. I talked to my mom yesterday and hinted toward the fact that I'm enjoying the class and I enjoy talking about the class. I can tell she doesn't want me to give up on my dream to go into Meteorology. I don't really think it would disappoint her to switch careers but I'm sure she'll be a little sad. I guess I don't know why I'm freaking out right now because I have the rest of my life to do what I want to do. I suppose I'll just chill for now..
Second, Larry's ill... It's quite a sickening feeling being in the middle of Oskaloosa and having clouds of white smoke coming from the back of your car. Now I'm driving my grandpa's truck around which actually probably gets better gas milage than my car got before!
Last, but not least, I sometimes don't get people's parents. My parents have been totally okay with the freedom and opportunities they've gave me. I've never had to fight for the ability to go out with friends and enjoy my time in high school. While talking with a friend Sunday night, he told me he needs to give up some of the freedom he's been withholding from his daughter. YES YOU DO!!!!!! This girl is a junior in high school and only gets a little sliver of freedom every great once in a while. I personally feel that be keeping your kids under your wing all the time runs the risk of them "going off the deep end" later in life.
I'm not sure why those three things came to mind this morning but I guess that's what my blog is for... Ranting!
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Rough Road Ahead
This past week as just been all over the place. One day I hated the world and today I was really happy to be around the people I love. Isn't it crazy how life has its way of balancing things in our lives out? Today turned out to be not too bad. I did have to work an eight hour shift and miss seeing some of my close family/friends but I guess there's costs and benefits to everything.
I think I might be "Jim-isming" here so I'll get down to the meat and potatoes of my post. I've got some really huge decisions coming my way right now. My mom always has told me that you should never have to know exactly what you want to do in life while you're still in high school. She's always reassured me that I may get to Oklahoma and hate the Meteorology field. I would tell her by saying that, she is setting me up for failure. Unfortunately, I now understand what she is talking about. Lately, when people ask me what the weather is going to be like, I've been thinking to myself, "Who cares!? Just go online and find out for yourself!". . . . What does that say about me?? On the contrary, if someone asked me what the difference between the medical terms tachycardia and bradycardia was, I feel I would by happy to answer them. I feel like I'm drowning in what to do. As I am currently sitting here writing this, I am alone in my pitch black living room, holding back tears because of all the pressure that's building. I never really show too much emotion which is why there is nobody around me right now.
I've never been one for taking medication but I've lately been having constant headaches that just never go away. Whether from lack of sleep or endless stress, I feel like nothing I can do will help me. Don't worry people. I'm not suicidal or want to do drugs, I just think I need to get away from everything for a while.
I'm really at a loss for words right now because nothing I think I am going to say will make sense. I can't really think straight at this point so I believe I'll just be going to bed. Night...
Peace.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Here We Go!
Like the title says, here we go!! I don't know if I really like writing very much but I think this will help me with all the crazy things going on these days.
This week has been somewhat of a weird week. School on Monday was cancelled, yesterday I learned some life lessons in a crazy fashion, and today I had the mood where I just wanted to kill everyone I talked to!
As for yesterday, I learned two important things: 1. Don't take life for granted because you aren't guaranteed it, 2. I think I have superpowers. I bet you're probably laughing at the fact I just said that. Let me explain. . . . A few months ago I was wanting to ride with the emergency manager to an accident scene to get a feel for emergency medicine and what working in that field would be like. Lone behold, that actually happened! Then recently, I was wanting to come up on an accident scene and be able to help the patient until the ambulance got there. And again, yesterday that happened. Superpowers? I think SO!! (By the way, I've really been wanting to call 911 at some point before I move to Oklahoma so if that happens, I'm saying, "I told you so!!" in a really snobby voice.)
As for my other life lesson, I stay with the accident scene I came upon. This gal rolled her car because the corner was slick and she had her cruise control on. Could our lives really be that delicate? This lady was just going about a normal day and because of her decision to flick one switch in her car, she almost lost her life. Everyone needs to remember that we aren't guaranteed our lives and should live like today is our last. Love your friends, family, and make an impact on someone. Later on in life, they could be the ones impacting you.
Well, I'm going to be on my way to my EMT class. I just never ends! Have a good night blog readers!! (Val, Tyler, and Ariel) [Unless you're someone else and are deciding to read this. In that case, THANKS!!]
Peace!
This week has been somewhat of a weird week. School on Monday was cancelled, yesterday I learned some life lessons in a crazy fashion, and today I had the mood where I just wanted to kill everyone I talked to!
As for yesterday, I learned two important things: 1. Don't take life for granted because you aren't guaranteed it, 2. I think I have superpowers. I bet you're probably laughing at the fact I just said that. Let me explain. . . . A few months ago I was wanting to ride with the emergency manager to an accident scene to get a feel for emergency medicine and what working in that field would be like. Lone behold, that actually happened! Then recently, I was wanting to come up on an accident scene and be able to help the patient until the ambulance got there. And again, yesterday that happened. Superpowers? I think SO!! (By the way, I've really been wanting to call 911 at some point before I move to Oklahoma so if that happens, I'm saying, "I told you so!!" in a really snobby voice.)
As for my other life lesson, I stay with the accident scene I came upon. This gal rolled her car because the corner was slick and she had her cruise control on. Could our lives really be that delicate? This lady was just going about a normal day and because of her decision to flick one switch in her car, she almost lost her life. Everyone needs to remember that we aren't guaranteed our lives and should live like today is our last. Love your friends, family, and make an impact on someone. Later on in life, they could be the ones impacting you.
Well, I'm going to be on my way to my EMT class. I just never ends! Have a good night blog readers!! (Val, Tyler, and Ariel) [Unless you're someone else and are deciding to read this. In that case, THANKS!!]
Peace!
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